He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
