super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
