Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
