I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
