i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
accomplished twins. life is a go
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
