That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
