Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
