Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize