i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
