Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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