I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
The ass gains better be worth it
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