So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just high enough for therapy.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
