Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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