When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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