the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
