Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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