lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
