do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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