Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
