i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
