nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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