Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
