lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I can text with my tongue
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
