i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
