I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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