I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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