Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Actions speak louder than pants.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
