What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
