i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
