I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
