If i come over, it means nothing
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
