when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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