he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
