I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
