Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
