do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
