I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize