Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I want to be your penis for a week.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
