Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So much Jack, so little girl.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
