sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
