I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
