what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
