How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
