Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
