Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
