so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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