All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
