umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Blood and glitter go together right?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
