Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize