well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Randomize
