I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
