Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Randomize
