Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
