i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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