i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
