you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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