I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
