he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
