Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
