Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
