shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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