K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
