We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
