One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
