and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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